Dana dana dana dana BATWALK

As I seem to be working all day every day lately, and not finding the time to go out and look at birds, I decided to participate in the Wren group's bat walk around Wanstead Park in order to get at least some form of nature fix.  I asked whether it would be okay to wear my Batman costume for the event, and permission was granted.  However, when I looked in the wardrobe all I found was a Superman one.  I thought I'd just look stupid if I went in a superman outfit so didn't bother in the end.  Despite it being marketed as a 'bat walk' we didn't see any bats actually walking, but we did come across a number that were flying.

For those that don't know what a bat am...

A bat is a type of mammal that is mostly a bird.  Think upon the bat as a strange demon-rat with wings.  They are to be irrationally feared and persecuted.  Bats are turned to dust by direct sunlight so only come out at night, which is pretty shady.  They are also unable to enter churches or eat garlic. Aesop probably tells us why this is.

Lady bats have boobs, which is the best thing about being a mammal.  Science loves boobs so much that it named the whole order of mammals after it (mamma = boobies in Latin).  What's more, the 'bat-nip' is actually located in the arm-pit, for modesty reasons.  Bats are as blind as a bat, so rely on echolocation and Sat Nav to know where the hell they're going.

On the walk we saw a good number of Pipistrelles, both common and Soprano, and a couple of Daubenton.  Last time, back in July, we had a Noctule as well, but there was no sign of any today.  It was too dark to take pictures, but see below a sketch what I done of the Batwalk...

Hats

Like many other birdwatchers in the summer months, on those long days when there's nothing else to do, I have been thinking about what hats would best suit different species of birds.  Here are just some of my findings...

  

Jay = Victorian Gent Top-hat

Tufted Duck = Fez

Coot - Backwards Baseball-Cap

Heron - Skullcap

Long-Eared Owl = Viking Helmet

Robin goes without saying

If you have done your own research into this subject why not leave a comment below and the team here at the Loadabullfinch Offices will use the information to lobby Chris Packham to do something about it.

Med Gull Masochist

I hadn't been on the patch for much of February so thought I'd try to pop out this weekend.  Friday came and I had a couple of spare hours hanging about so I thought I'd use them in the field.  But instead of going bird watching I decided to do some masochism instead.  Masochism is where you inflict pain on yourself by going out into blistering, freezing cold winds in not enough clothes and checking every single one of the 1,000 or so gulls for a Mediterranean gull which isn't there any more.  If you are a level two Masochist you will check each gull a second and a third time, just in case.  Initially I was using a pair of binoculars and my camera to try and find the bird that had been reported just that morning, but even when I busted out a pair of rose tinted glasses it was still nowhere to be seen.  I thought that if I stared at black-headed gulls long enough they would eventually morph into a Med.  If you have never experienced this side of birding before, allow me to recreate it here for you...

For the Loadabullfinch Med Gull Masochist Challenge you will need...

- Frozen items from your freezer
- Assorted torture devices
- Binoculars
- Camera
- Scope
- 1,000 gulls (we like to use an 80/20 splt of common and black-heads with a sprinkling of Herring    and Lesser-Black-Back)

1.) Begin by smashing your hope, enjoyment and sense of satisfaction into a fine powder using a pestle and mortar, if you don't have a pestle and mortar you can do this by waking up early, looking out of your window and seeing how miserable and dark the day is, trekking out on to Wanstead Flats in a blizzard and standing around like a numpty.

2.)  Take the frozen items; peas, beans, ice-cream etc and cover your naked feet in them until the numbness is replaced by seething pain.  Then use the torture devices to gently remove pieces of your feet and hands, starting with the finger and toe nails and slowly moving to the base of the digits.  You may also like to try smashing your nose off with a frozen hammer. 

3.) Jab violently at your eyes with sticks, bee stings and needles until tears pour down your face.  Then look at the following images one by one...

  Not a Med Gull

Not a Med Gull

Not a Med Gull

Not a Med Gull

Not a Med Gull

Not a Med Gull

Not a Med Gull

4.)  Now move to the other side of your room and cross your eyes and try looking at the pictures again, but this time really, really want them to be a Med Gull.

Still not a Med Gull

Still not a Med Gull

Still not a Med Gull

Still not a Med Gull

Still not a Med Gull

Still not a Med Gull

Still not a Med Gull

5.)  Now you can weep into your bins and consider taking up train spotting or looking at Eddie Stobart lorries and then figure, hey, I've already sacrificed my limbs, I may as well give it another shot...

Wow!  Its a... wait... no it's not

Hmmm... no change

I hate myself

Is that even a gull anymore?



Yeah, definitely just another black-headed gull

Nuurgh

.......

6.) Then go home, you sad, pathetic freak.

I also tried to do the same thing on Saturday morning.  But it was ruined by  a Med gull which was, pretty much, the first bird I saw.