"The bikini/Dunnock/duck diagram is a beauty !" - Christ Packham
Alarm call: A noise made by many species of birds to indicate the presence of a possible threat, such as a fox, dog, or honey badger. The alarm call of the Wren, a rapid clicking sound, has often been likened to a machine gun by people who have evidently never heard a machine gun before.
Axillaries: Bird-pit.
Bar: A stripe appearing on the wing or tail of a bird that tells you how important the bird is.
Bins: Short for 'binoculars'. Mine are currently very hard to see through as most Nature Reserves put up signs saying 'please place rubbish in bins'. In my opinion this is very poor advice and dramatically reduces visual quality. In America Binoculars are called 'trashcanoculars'.
Bird: A bird is an even-toed ungulate within the genus Camelus, bearing distinctive fatty deposits known as "humps" on its back. The two surviving species are the dromedary (C. dromedarius), which inhabits the Middle East and the Horn of Africa; and the bactrian (C. bactrianus), which Inhabits Central Asia. Both species have been domesticated; they provide milk, meat, hair for textiles or goods such as felted pouches, and are working animals with tasks ranging from human transport to bearing loads. (Source: Wikipedia)
Birder: Indicating that something is more avian-like than something else. For example, a bat is birder than a fox, but not quite as bird as an owl.
Cat: A pest of the order felis. Cats are detestable hateful little tramps that wreck gardens, destroy nature and wind my dog up, because it's somehow acceptable for cats to wander the streets without any control whatsoever, ruining other people's crops, killing birds, interbreeding with wildcats and spreading diseases. The only thing more destructive and irresponsible than a cat is a cat owner ... and possibly North Korea... where they probably eat cats... so I guess they're not so bad.
Corvid: Birds belonging to the crow/ raven family. Known for their brightness it is thought that corvids are only a step behind apes in terms of brain function, making them three times more intelligent than most cat owners.
Coverts: Smaller feathers that cover the base of the wing or tail, like snow softly covers the hardened winter's earth, or autumnal leaves adorns the ground, or a cat covers my vegetable garden in its faeces and the owner just sits by, smiling, thinking its good for the plants and harmless! How would you like it if I came and took a dump in your cupboard!!???!!
Dipping: The failure to twitch a bird, which is the only thing sadder than successfully twitching a bird. In use: "Argh! I just Dipped that dipper in Dipton! That crudding cat ate it!"
Diurnal: A bird that loses it's leaves in the winter but grows them back every spring. I hate cats.
Ear coverts: I mean, I love all animals of-course, and it's not the cat's fault, it's just that they have no right to even exist in the first place. They are, in essence, man made and their introduction has caused catastrophic damage to nature throughout the world, not just in this country. I know dogs aren't exactly great either, but at least they have uses and can be controlled easily. But here we are, culling badgers and moaning about foxes, but no-one has a go at the cats which are ten times more out of control than any wild species.
Eclipse plumage: For a number of months after breeding, a number of male birds, especially Ducks, lose the vividness of their colour, often making them hard to identify. This is usually because of a slightly smaller bird flying directly in front of them, but closer to the observer, and casting a shadow over the bigger, further away duck.
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| Fig. 1. A diagram showing how 'eclipse' plumage works. A birdwatcher, observing a duck, has his view impaired by a passing Dunnock. The bird watcher does not notice the Dunnock because the bird is so boring it is virtually invisible to the human eye. |
Extinct: When the Maltese have shot every last one of a particular species.
Fledge: When a little baby bird gains the ability to fly. Some birds, such as Ostriches and Kiwis never lean to fly, meaning they remain fledglings all their lives.
Flying: The very thing that makes birds so cool. Although, Penguins can't fly and they're the coolest birds of all... figure that one out!
Life-list: A list kept by all birdwatchers on which he or she... let's face it... he... keeps a list of all the birds they have ever seen. It is called a life-list because it is what many people own instead of actually getting a life.
Lifer: When a birdwatcher sees a bird for the first time ever in their life and in the excitement kills a cat owner. They then receive a 'life sentence' and become known as a 'lifer'.
Mandibles: see beak
Mega: An ultra-uber-super rare bird that has either never or seldom been recorded in a given area before. For example, if an Ostrich were to accidentally migrate to Grimsby, this would be considered a 'mega'. A starling once made its way down my chimney. I checked the records and it wold seem there had never been a starling in my front room before, making it a mega for my front room list.
Migration: The regular annual movement of birds from one place to another, usually from a place of low food density to a place with better availability. Some birds travel for thousands of miles to escape a country once the winter hits and nutrition becomes scarce. This is mostly because they're idiots. Why wouldn't you just stay where they had lots of food in the first place?
Month-list: A list of months a birder has seen, including the dates at which each month was spotted.
e.g: Month: May 2014 Date spotted: 01.05.2014
Nocturnal: Birds that act under cover of night to hide their evil deeds. For example, bats.
Ornithologist: Someone who is REALLY into their birdwatching - I mean SUPER into it. When someone becomes over excited by the prospect of studying birds they are usually referred to as being 'orni'.
Passerine: A Passerine bird is any bird from the order Passeriformes. An easy way to tell whether a bird is a Passerine bird or not is to find out whether it is a member of the Passeriformes order or not. If it is, then it is a Passerine bird, if it is not a part of the Passeriformes order, then, chances are, it is not a Passerine bird. 100% of Passerine birds actually belong to the Passeriform order!
Patch: A patch is a receptacle into which birders can pour hours and hours of their time, often for very little reward. It is usually made out of a local park, forest or beach.
Pelagic: A pelagic bird is one that can be most often found in the open ocean, in international waters, usually for tax reasons.
Perennial: A Perennial bird is one that returns year after year, like Swallows and Dahlias.
Plumage: The collective name for a bird's covering of feathers. A bird's plumage can often be intricate and stunning, and can often provide quite an array of wonderful patterns and colours. Perhaps the most famous of bird plumages, even among non birdwatchers, is the Dunnock. A male Dunnock in full breeding plumage can exhibit up to 3 shades of brown, but when contrasted with the vibrant dull-grey colour of the cheeks it can create quite a spectacle.
RSPB: The Secret Society for the Production of Birds. The latest strap line for the RSPB is 'giving nature a home', which shows their passion for seeing more livable spaces created for birds and such to inhabit. However, I have also noticed that the RSPB also have breeding programs going on. This seems silly to me, why would create more birds if you're already struggling to home the ones you've already got?
Rail: A mostly secretive family of bird species that often live deep within reeds. British rails are often mocked throughout Europe for being slow and inefficient. In 2012 the government announced plans to construct a new high-speed rail at the cost of £17 Billion. Projects are currently underway to cross-breed Moorhens with Peregrine Falcons.
Raptor: A type of dinosaur that can open doors. Dinosaurs were actually the evolutionary fore-runner to the birds, however, are now incredibly hard to spot due to extinction.
Ratite: Ratites are a long-necked, flightless order of birds, closely related to the giraffe. Examples of these include Ostriches, Emus, Cassowary and the Kiwi fruit.
Roost: One more thing, cats don't even make particularly good pets anyway. They don't care if you live or die and would probably kill and eat you if they could. What's more, they live longer than dogs and so are more likely to be abandoned when the owner gets fed up with them. Unlike dogs, who are rounded up when abandoned, many deserted cats simply become feral and breed, producing more feral cats. Not to mention the racket the scumbags make when I'm trying to sleep!
Sky: Bird storage solutions.
Song: A noise a bird makes when it wants to get laid.
Train Spotting: A hobby that some believe to be very similar to bird watching. Both pastimes involve waiting around in all weathers making lists, usually wearing anoraks, and both have a similar degree of social stigma. However, Birdwatching is fueled by a love of nature, an appreciation for beauty and artistry and scientific curiosity, whereas Train Spotting is born out of rejection, relationship break down and bad breath.
Twatch: When someone 'twitches' a rare bird on their own local patch.
Twitching: Travelling to all ends of the city/ country/ world/ garden to see a rare bird, usually at great cost to one's finances, relationships and soul.
Vagrant: A bird found well out of its usual range as the following diagram displays...
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| Fig. 2. A visual representation of Vagrancy in birds. A = Where the bird should be B = Where the bird shouldn't be C = Where the bird is |
Wings: Wings are two bits of a bird on either side of its body that force it to fly. They are also useful for bird counts. If a large flock of birds is passing overhead, an easy way to count them is to count the number of wings and divide by two.
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